I haven’t posted for a while, mainly because I don’t want to keep repeating the same “woo is me” message about the issues looking after someone with Alzheimer’s. So this post is more about the challenge of caring for someone with Alzheimer’s and an 11 year old daughter and where to draw the line about bad behavior.
Now mum is 87 and I was brought up to respect my elders. I do and having survived the war etc you could argue they have the right to say what they want. Hence the reference to Alf Garnett. The comedy in those days, actually relied on inappropriate comments about race and other social issues. Doubt if the BBC would commission the series today.
However where do you draw the line? Not sure if its Alzheimer’s or simply old age that allows the normal standards of behaviour to disappear.
Remembering to wash hands after the loo or covering ones mouth when coughing – we have a constant battle to remind or chastise.
Feeding the dog, left over food even though shes constipated with sweet corn. Again each time is a promise not to do it, but then the cameras showing mum do it. Even saying to the dog, “don’t say anything or you’ll get me in trouble”! So she remembers she mustn’t do it, but does it anyway. Her dog, her decision, we just have to deal with the crap – literally.
And then the comments that we really hope Ella knows are inappropriate – “Well she won’t win “Strictly Come Dancing as she’s too fat” “Shes right she looks like an Elephant and dances like one”. No feminism, stand-up for your sister in mums world.
Luckily Ella does take it in her stride and is old enough to understand the difference between what’s ok and what’s not. She’s actually better at handling it than me and finds it funny and puts it down to mum being old.
So may be thats the answer to the question. If you are old and earn the right, you can get away with a bit more than others and I need to be a bit more like Frozen – “Let it go, let it go”.