Bruce why did you have to die when we were on holiday?

You’ll understand the title eventually.

I haven’t posted for a while and that’s partly because things have been relatively good without major incident or new behavioural changes. Which is good news.

We recently had a holiday to Spain without mum and this time, rather than up root mum to a rest bite care home, we organised carers to come in 4 times a day, the extra two being in the evening to give her a meal and help her into bed.

My sister popped in each day as well so that mum had some family company as well and ultimately be available to the carers should they need her which was great as it meant we could relax on holiday. Its easier for me to relax as my personality is such that I only worry about the thing that is actually happening, rather than create a raft of scenarios that may or may not come true but still worry about everything as if it already has. This really helps because anything can happen with someone suffering with dementia.

“Expect the unexpected but don’t plan your life around trying to fix it before it happens – GT.”

Randomly mum wanted poached eggs for lunch one day rather than the Wiltshire Farm Foods (www.wiltshirefarmfoods.com – highly recommend for anyone else in similar situation) that the carers normally give her. With the CCTV camera we can see the poor carer, searching around all the kitchen cupboards trying to find the poacher and then mum decides to get down on all fours and look her self.  She then struggles to get back up!

So not a scenario we could have predicted and therefore provided the carers with advice with. More worrying is mums thought process, which again we can’t predict. She also was planning on leaving the house to buy some eggs and more scary would be mum deciding to cook for herself. May need to switch cooker off to ensure she doesn’t burn herself or the house down by forgetting she’s left something on the hob.

Second incident was the day before we were due back and one that we have seen before, Mum refusing to go to bed when the carer arrived at 8:30pm. This was Bruce’s fault as there was a special tribute programme on the TV that mum was watching.  Again not something we could have foreseen and therefore given advice on how to deal with the situation.

If we were at home, we could obviously have put mum to bed later or suggested recording the program but carers have 30 minutes to get things done and some are better than others at negotiating with mum.

The moral of the story or blog. Think laterally about what mum might do differently as the disease progresses in particular how to keep her safe. The camera’s in the house and the front door, certainly help as it allows us to see what really happens as mum doesn’t always remember.

However we can’t predict everything so don’t worry about it or change our behaviour in the off chance that something may or may not happen. The next British TV legend death or royal event may happen at any time and we could be on holiday again.

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